WATCH OUT FOR SNAKES

[BBC] Attacked jogger takes fox for run

A healthy lifestyle is no match for rabies.

[BBC] Women’s hands ‘harbour more bugs’

We always knew it was true, and now we have conclusive proof.

[BBC] Man’s arm trapped in train toilet

Deep down inside, we all harbor an intense fear of pneumatic toilets, but we all thought it was slightly irrational. Well here’s proof that we were right! (I’m not the only pneumocrappophobic one out there, am I?)

[BBC] Sticky tape is source of X-rays

Think twice next time you need to use an adhesive, unless you’re wearing adequate lead shielding.

[BBC] Keyboard sniffers to steal data

I’ve read everything you’ve typed today, and I’ve taken the liberty of forwarding it on to the authorities. You should probably change your passwords… but be sure to avoid using your keyboard to do so.

[CNN] Grandma with five dead husbands freed

Who hasn’t this woman killed? You? Maybe you’re next.

[BBC] Blind Belgian breaks speed record

Hustle through that crosswalk, pedestrian, you’re about to get pulped by a driver who’ll claim in his manslaughter trial that he never saw you.

[BBC] IMF in global ‘meltdown’ warning

Invest heavily in canned goods, and only keep your kids if they’ll be profitable in the grim near future.

[FOX NEWS] Chunk of Ice Mysteriously Falls From Sky, Punching Hole in Pennsylvania Roof

Spacemen are getting more accurate with their snowballs.

[FOX NEWS] Hospital gives boy, 1, medicine contaminated with human skin

A piece of skin accidentally fell into a vial of medicine? Leviticus clearly says that lepers shouldn’t be allowed to be pharmacists.